Pushya: Guru, Goddess and Gatekeeping

Udders are a symbol of Pushya

Last night I was tweeting about how one must take up a short sadhana of Ganapati Atharvashirsha and Lalita Sahasranama for the upcoming Ashadha Navaratri. As I write this on the eve of said Navaratri and also tomorrow being Pushya nakshatra, I had some thoughts around the kind of negative response I recieved while suggesting people to chant Lalita Sahasranama.

First of all, I'm in no way saying or implying that initiation into Sri Vidya is not important and one must disregard the Guru. I'd be a hypocrite if I said so due to me being such a parrot of my own Guru but I want to talk about how people are often confused about what Guru tattwa truly means and end up ignoring the multiple Gurus they come across in their lives on a daily basis. It's also interesting that this Navaratri culminates on Guru Purnima.

"Bestow upon us; satisfy us; grant to us; stimulate us; fill our belly." -Rgveda 6.54

The most auspicious nakshatra in the tara mandal is Pushya for it gains the rulership of Brihaspati, the priest and the benefactor of all beings. However, Pushya awakens Saturn in the Vimshottari Dasha system at birth which reveals something profound about Guru tattwa itself. The Guru does not first reveal knowledge but it reveals our limitations, our dependance and what we desire the most in this life.

Saturn dashas are very uncomfortable to most people, it's a slow planet that exists to make you realize your karma. It's finding yourself bound to something limited and to mistaken the conditioning of the mind as reality itself. Only when those limitations become visible can Brihaspati do what he does best—expand your consciousness beyond them.

Guru is not a person but a principle, it literally means 'heavy' because the responsibility for yourself and your dharma towards improving yourself in this incarnation is your own.

A human Guru embodies the principle but so do books, experiences, suffering and even your own intuition and curiosity that moves you to change and question your patterns.

Speaking from my own experience, a living Guru is wonderful, they show you the way by living their relationship with the deity and the world. I didn't even know how important it was to have a Guru before I first picked up Lalita Sahasranama and chanted it like a maniac days until I had committed it to my memory. In Lalita Sahasranama itself however, it says that Devi is 'Gurupriya' (Fond of Gurus) and 'Gurumurtih' (embodies the Guru principle) and so the fruit of my chanting eventually did take me to a Guru and a sampradaya, the ropes of which I'm still learning.

I also think a common misconception people have about the Guru is that the Guru is like a customer service representative who'll be available at your beck and call to give you constant reassurance. This couldn't be further from the truth because with immense love and grace, comes immense responsibility --for yourself and your own spiritual progress.

Going back to the Lalita Sahasranama debacle yesterday, in some traditions, yes there are restrictions to chanting and in some it's encouraged to chant and learn it almost as a pre-requisite to initiation. While I respect both schools of taught, I noticed how the conversation about devotion shifted quickly to fear mongering and permission.

Who gets to decide when someone is ready for God?

Ajna Chakra; the seat of the Guru and Kamadhenu

Looking back at my years without a physical Guru and looking at the many people in my life who have chosen not to seek a Guru for their own reasons but still do practices and experience gnosis in their own ways, I think the Guru principle is always present. In fact, it is the only thing, the glue that keeps us held together in life. After all, Guru is gravity itself.

This also makes me giggle for many people think that initiation is the end of all suffering and that they don't need to work anymore to get God's grace. Initiation is literally just the beginning, it is you being reborn and the Guru nourishing you with the milk of knowledge. How you play, fall and get back up on the path is entirely up to you and how you experience the spiritual process. And you will fall and you will have many days doubting whether any of this is worth the work and the waking up at the crack of dawn etc. which is why the Guru and the parampara is also meant to be contemplated upon in private. Many people flaunt the fact that they're initiates and they belong to so and so sampradaya and that itself is a limitation that one falls into because ultimately it's having pride about something you haven't really achieved by yourself but is the grace of the Goddess. Some initiates and non-initiates also take pride in gatekeeping practices from people, no matter what the intention is here; I truly believe it is none of our business to gatekeep God from someone if they have an inclination and curiosity to explore practices.

The thing about grace is that it knows how to gatekeep itself very easily. We have all the access in the world to the most secret esoteric knowledge at the click of a button but are we all enlightened beings? I don't think so.

When one is aspiring to love and recognize God within, they need to develop fearlessness. The sadhaka should be like a lion; regal, noble and unafraid of what the sadhana might bring up. Our mind expands what we pay attention to and has a tendency to make us paranoid but you must learn to tame the mind instead of falling for that paranoia that keeps you forever at the mercy of others, constantly seeking validation for your experiences and your life.

तद्विज्ञानार्थं स गुरुमेवाभिगच्छेत्

"To know That, one should indeed approach a Guru."

-Mundaka Upanishad (1.2.12)

In the Guru Paduka mantra which is given at a certain stage of our spiritual life to prepare one to embody the Guru, the mantra that is ajapa within us is said, hamsah shiva soham. We spend our lives seeking the physical form of the Guru,initiation and some proof of the grace of the Goddess. We keep milking life that is replete with experiences with our eyes closed and think we're without a Guru. Take a look around, the Guru is in the very air you breath.