Intimacy of spiritual experiences

On God, love and the water element in astrology.

Krishna-Kali Leela: Krishna takes a form of Kali to save Radha from being disgraced when caught in love-play.

In romantic relationships there’s this unspoken contract between the lovers that the intimate details of the relationship as an entity must not be expressed or performed in even subtle ways to the external world, to people who are particularly not a part of that entity that is created by two people. There are a few reasons for this; love is a force that is unseen, it needs to be experienced in the solitude of one’s own being as their own treasure.

Expressions of this type of love might differ from person to person and hence too many eyes on the mundane yet confidential details of the relationship can invite a lot of judgement, self-doubt and pressure to perform and please the general public who are nothing but spectators of the relationship. There’s also a sweetness in being able to keep things a secret; when we look at the astrological perspective, the 4th, 8th and 12th houses are associated to water (emotion, intimacy, flow and sex) and are also known as dusthana (with the exception of the 4th house which is a chaturasra kendra –a central house in providing nourishment and stability) which means inauspicious place or the one that creates suffering.

The only reason why water is the element that creates this suffering is because of its turbulent nature (our ever changing minds and emotions) and also it takes the shape of the vessel it is in very quickly, which can denote adaptability but also is prone to being influenced and not have a sense of knowing what it really is supposed to be or do. 

Relationships are quite like that, most of us are not equipped to navigate these ebbs and flows and sometimes even the stillness of these waters and end up either drowning or watching from really far, scared to dive in and swimming through the currents. Creating a relationship with God is pretty much the same; love is essentially God and all dusthana houses are actually necessary for our spiritual development because they point out the areas in our life where we might not be willing to take risks or be too overly involved. One thing that also connects these houses, our romantic relationships and our relationship with God is the fact that they are succeeding to very public houses that are ruled by the air element (3,7,11) which through Bhavat Bhavam rules define these air houses as the loss of the water houses.

Let’s examine these elements; air is present everywhere at all times, it’s the thing that is watching everything and also necessary in communication because it combines the ether and the fire element. The air element is also accessible to everyone at all times but very unstable and hard to master because it’s so polluted in the modern world (thanks Rahu devata!) making it an unreliable messenger and can also be used to hide the truth. Water on the other hand, is very scarce, especially drinkable water because it has to go through a lot of cleansing and being burnt to be able to consume it. Water is also being commodified and people are essentially parched of it due to the institutional problems and late stage capitalism. I know you might be thinking; what does this have to do with romance and God? Well, as above, so below; when we look at the exploitation of the elements in the natural world, we understand how these elements work within ourselves and in the context of our relationships. Think of the fact that this is a Mars ruled year and the sheer amount of fires and wars we’ve been going through as a collective. There’s anger within people that the ones that were supposed to stabilize us and help us live harmoniously are exploiting us.

Okay, back to romance and God. 

Lovers shrouded under the moon.

Water as an element when exposed to air or fire, evaporates. Love is the same way, when exposed it’s not for you to enjoy anymore but for others to break down, consume and scrutinize. It then does not remain a treasure or the sweetness created by two people but becomes public property for people to pollute and surmise about. But if you look at the world, people are doing exactly that, getting cheap dopamine hits due to their exhibitionist fetish but there’s also a deep underlying insecurity about their relationship (with God or a person) being invalid if not praised or talked about by other people. If one has established their presence in a public or a setting on the foundation of discussing spirituality, God and divinity, this sort of sharing of one’s spiritual experiences can also help in establishing legitimacy (basically street cred) and having more people get curious about what they do in their practice. On one hand, this is great, it helps people get into daily spiritual practice and fall in love with God, hence it is the work of grace. The flipside of the coin is that most people then begin associating grace with tangible experiences, often developing a tunnel vision about how God (or a relationship) must be experienced and it doesn’t remain the treasure of the person experiencing it to enjoy by themselves. 

Don’t get me wrong, the treasure itself is endless and gracious but how each person will be experiencing it will depend on their personal circumstances, age, past life karmas and also chamatkara (miracle) because ultimately, we don’t know everything about everything and we just need to know of ourselves as divine. In the Lalita Sahasranama, there’s a very interesting name for this: Antarmukha Samaradhya Bahirmukha Sudurlabha; the Goddess is attained easily when moving inwards and difficult when looking outwards. I think this also speaks for our need for validation from society, family and our lovers instead of accepting ourselves as we are; shadows and all. Atheists exist in society but so do believers, the real question is, does God stop existing only when we recognize Her? When we validate Her existence? We (as the egoic self) can barely validate our own existence when we’re asleep, God’s beyond the need for this validation from us. Similarly, love needs no audience, it doesn’t even need the invitation or the presence of another.

Love gushes forth from within to the surface of your being and then extends out, of course there’s triggers everywhere but the feeling itself is your own, sometimes revealing and sometimes concealing itself in your own being. Spiritual experiences are just a symbolic way of solidifying this feeling. Whether a flower falls from the statue of the deity on your altar or you get something exactly as you’ve wanted, it’s all a work of that grace, sometimes subtle and sometimes more present. If you hold on to these as jewels of your own self-effort in secret, you will begin to feel richer and not need validation from others to satisfy the ego. Instead these experiences will work as your own cushion during times of God concealing Herself from you. They will be a reminder of Her sweetness.

Jai Ambe Jai Gurudev.